Beyond Labels

When you change the way you see yourself, your world will change.
And then, you can help others change how they see themselves; their world will change.
Eventually, you can create a world beyond labels.

#thespeakingwriter #storytelling #publicspeaking #stereotypes #lackofawareness #Filipinomigrantworkers #OFW

Have you ever been affected by what others say to you?

Did it make you feel small?

I did.

I’ve been working globally for the last 16 years.

2007… I was in North America… working hard to earn money to help my widowed mom repay her loans.

I was earning a lot, but I was homesick.

My friend in North America said,

“Shiela, why don’t you look for a job in Asia instead?

But remember one thing… don’t go to Hong Kong.”

I wondered why.

A year later, I received an offer to relocate to Asia.

Guess where? Hong Kong

Yearning to be closer to home…to my family, I accepted the opportunity.

When I landed in HK, I realized what my friend meant.

I was in an elevator, and a mother and son entered.

The son couldn’t reach the button for their floor, so I helped.

The mother then said, “Say thank you to TseTse,” Tsetse and bun mui are terms some people use for Filipino helpers.

I was shocked… I didn’t know how to react.

Then I realized there are more than two hundred thousand Filipino helpers in Hong Kong,

If you are a Filipino, many people assume you must be a domestic worker.

With my appearance and accent, I can’t hide that I’m Filipino.

Have you ever been labeled for who you are, how you look or what job you do?

How did those labels make you feel?

I got stereotypes, not only from locals but from Filipinos as well.

Filipinos have the habit of striking conversation with fellow Filipinos

One day on the MTR.

A Filipino lady said, “Hi, Kabayan (fellow Filipino). Is it your day off today?”

I said, “Yes.”

Then she asked, “Is your employer expat or local?”

Hmm. A little bit tricky. I pondered for 3 seconds.

Since my manager is American, I said, “expat.”

I thought that was the end, but she asked me further, “Do you look after children or elderly?”

As I work with high net-worth investors in Hedge Funds and demanding clients and colleagues, I said, “Elderly.”

One day, I was fed up with these stereotypes. I approached my Hongkonger friend.

“I always face these stereotypes — the labelings make me feel small. I don’t know what to do.”

“I have had similar experiences when I lived in another country. I also feel discriminated, stereotyped, and labeled.

What I’ve learned is…

You can never control what others say to you

But You can always control what you say to yourself.”

That’s when I realized I can control what I say to myself…

You can control what you say to yourself.

But What are you saying to yourself?

I thought deeply about what she said.

Why am I affected by all these?

Why do these make me feel small?

If I feel so bad being labeled as a helper.

How might real helpers feel by constant labeling and judging?

Like me, most of us didn’t want to leave the Philippines if we had a choice.

Like me, they joined 10 million other Filipinos abroad to earn more to support our families back home.

When I look at them, I can see the sadness in their eyes, their frustrations and their struggles.

I can see the impact on the families being broken.

I can see the impact on the children left behind.

I can see mothers taking care of the children of others instead of taking care of their own children back home.

It is a huge issue I wish I didn’t have to see.

I can feel their pain, but what can I do about this?

Maybe there is a reason why I am one of them.

Today, I am not affected by what others say about me.

I am a proud migrant Filipino worker, regardless of the job others think I’m doing.

Today, I help those who see themselves as small to recognize their own greatness.

Today, I support my fellow Filipinos In Hong Kong through chess and public speaking.

During our day off, instead of taking care of children and the elderly, we take care of ourselves.

I ask you again: have you ever been affected by what others say to you?

When you change the way you see yourself, your world will change.

And then, you can help others change how they see themselves; their world will change.

Eventually, you can create a world… beyond labels.